If you were to combine the images from the beginning of the year with the sound from the end of the year, you could assume that tens of thousands of tractors were on their way to Berlin just because there was Dubai chocolate for 70 euros in the Adlon. And the hundreds of thousands who gathered at Jungfernstieg in Hamburg were there to get an autograph from best-selling author Angela Merkel, and not to protest against the AfD and its remigration plans. This would result in an interesting picture-sound pairing.
What is Robbie Williams doing at Maischberger?
A year like this goes by so quickly – considering it’s so damn long. At the end you hardly remember the beginning. Everything blurs, blurs, becomes a single mash of images, a cacophony, a smoothie of impressions. When Robbie Williams suddenly sits with Maischberger, you’re so shaken by events that you no longer know why he’s sitting there: Is it about the Oasis reunion, or is he about to discuss arms deliveries to Ukraine with Sahra Wagenknecht? Okay, sounds absurd. What’s the point of talking to an overhyped pop star with no real interest in politics? And Robbie Williams is hardly better.
Micky Beisenherz: Sorry, I’m here privately
My name is Micky Beisenherz. In Castrop-Rauxel I am a world star. Elsewhere I have to pay for everything myself. I am a multimedia general store. Author (Extra3, Jungle Camp), presenter (ZDF, NDR, ProSieben, ntv), podcast host (“Apocalypse and Filter Coffee”), occasional cartoonist. There are things that stand out to me. Sometimes even upset me. And since their impulse control is constantly stuck, they probably have to get out. My religious symbol is the crosshairs. The razor blade is my dance floor. And my feet are itching again.
Is Sahra Wagenknecht perhaps the Dubai chocolate of politics? Uncomfortably popular and of questionable nutritional value. Which is now a very difficult bridge to Markus Söder. He just played history karaoke in Warsaw for his Instagram account and brazenly copied Willy Brandt’s historic kneeling. Anyone who has followed Söder’s production work more closely over the year might get the idea that someone is bending over because he wants to lay down one of his Söder eggs instead of a wreath. Especially: If Söder publicly gives up, it usually works Friedrich Merz to your knees.
A bow, a humble bow, would certainly be appropriate if we think of those who left us this year: Alain Delon, Shannen Doherty, Andy Brehme, of course Franz Beckenbauer, but also Alexej Navalny, who was not meant to live to see that the regime of his great enemy Putin falls. Unlike Assad, for whom things suddenly happened surprisingly quickly in Syria. The only people who were quicker were politicians like Jens Spahn, who, while the Syrians were still cheering on German streets, stood in their bedroom to help pack their suitcases. After all, the “deportation on a large scale” debate dominated the middle of the year, and even those in the political center don’t want to let it go.
Donald Trump: Just at McDonald’s, now US President
Climate protection? An off switch. In Lower Austria there was a once-in-a-century flood on election day, and wading up to their waists in water, people asked where the ballot box for the FPÖ was. The fact that there is already an election campaign has to do with the fact that the traffic lights burst on the evening of November 6th when Olaf Scholz kicked out the disloyal PowerPoint commander Christian Lindner. On Morning of November 6th In turn, Donald Trump won the election, proving that in an unlimited America someone who had recently worked at McDonald’s can become president. But because the Social Democrats and Free Democrats split up on the downwardly open Pocher scale, the Trump triumph was suppressed surprisingly quickly.
No, it wasn’t a good year for Humor Germany. One stalks the ex and mother of his children on every available channel with pitiful mockery, the other atomizes his comeback with disability jokes in a Talahon podcast, and with El Hotzo’s promiscuous rascally remake, the fingernail-painted mindfulness militia is now losing it Figurehead of male feminism. The principle works, but ironically. Pietism is a damn sharp boomerang. Thommy “I mean no offense” Gottschalk comes off relatively honorably. While Stefan Raab is back from early retirement with expensive baked rolls.
It was a year of overwhelming events. The events go by like a sushi conveyor running too fast. And so we stagger, actually still exhausted from this year, into a new one that threatens to tire us from day one with slogans, campaign slogans and labels. But if there’s one thing we’ve learned since 2016 at the latest, it’s this: the damned year that we chase to hell on New Year’s Eve with champagne in hand will already seem like the good old days to us in January.
